I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
