She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
