We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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