Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(651): View more from Minnesota

dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.

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(925): View more from California

im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy

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(269): View more from Michigan

I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.

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(919): View more from North Carolina

No period for spring break; use this wisely.

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(501): View more from Arkansas

He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.

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(917): View more from New York City

How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?

(1-917): View more from New York City

I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.

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(469): View more from Texas

The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.

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(856): View more from New Jersey

COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH

(856): View more from New Jersey

ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT

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