Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Randomize
