Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Congratulations! We have a period
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
