I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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