I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
