I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
