I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
