direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
