is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
