Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize
