The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Randomize
