Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Can't talk, ducks in the car
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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