I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
a search helicopter?!
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
