I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
