I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
