I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
