I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Its about making memories worth repressing
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
