It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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