she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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