just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
They have beer where we have blood.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize