I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize