we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
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