If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
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