the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Randomize
