You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
i will never coherently bang her
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
