i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
