I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Randomize
