After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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