I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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