cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize