maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
