I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
