I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
