I want to have your abortion
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Randomize