:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I checked into jail on foursquare
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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