Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
