We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I would fuck him just for his dog
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize
