WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Randomize
