dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
