This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
