Sry I called you an 8
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
