didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
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