Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
