yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
This is my gift to your gina
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Randomize
