im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
