Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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