I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize