Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
