the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
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