I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
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