Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
