The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
