I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
