I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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