I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Randomize
