i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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