I wish I could teleport
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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