Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
