I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
