Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
